Barbara's Babysitting Business
by Alla Bethony
Summary: Bab's and Dick have found a new way to make money: By starting their own Babysitting Business. AU, don't expect anything other than pure humor and fun.
1. A Job?

**Authors Note: **

**This story is a complete AU, do not expect it to be anything less than pure unrealistic madness.**

**Before we begin, I'd like to give you some age information about the characters, as it is going to be different than it is in most of the stories.**

**Babs is around sixteen**

**Dick is around fourteen**

**Jason is about five**

**Tim around four**

**Steph around four**

**Damien is a baby a little less than a year.**

**-Prologue-**

"Okay, Grayson, prepare to be rolling in dough!" Babs yelled as she happily barged into the Batcave. "I have a fool proof plan to have us richer than Bruce!"

Dick lifted his head up, showing his confusion in his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?" He asked, going back to typing away on the computer. "We already are rolling in dough…"

"Not since Bruce cut our allowance. We're on 'probation' now, remember?" She pulled up a seat next to him, "Although I think it was completely unnecessary. The bouncy castle Batcave fit in the living room perfectly. There was no reason for Bruce to flip out like that."

Dick chuckled slightly, "Seemed like a good idea at the time…" He admitted. "Of course, when you're sugar-high on mint chocolate chip ice cream and Girl Scout cookies, a lot of things seem like a good idea." He turned his chair to look at the red-head. "So," He asked, "What's this amazing scheme that you have to get us more money?"

"Thought you'd never ask, now listen to this," She pulled the zipper down from her oversized hoodie.

"Um… What are you doing?"

"Ta-da!" She yelled, revealing the white tee shirt that she wore under. _Barbara's Babysitting Business _it read in large letters.

"Okay, there is no way that is happening…" Dick chuckled, "Besides, how do you expect us to become rich by turning into a daycare?"

"By getting enough costumers."

"Not happening."

"Already happened!" Babs giggled, jumping up and down and clapping her hands. "We have three kids coming over tonight while their parents go out of town. Two little boys named Jason and Tim, a little girl named Steph, then of course we have Damien…"

"Damien _lives_ here!"

"Bruce agreed to let us do this as long as we watch Damien and give Alfred the night off."

"How long have you been planning this without telling me?"

Barbra shrugged, getting up from the chair and patting Dick on the head.

"Trust me, D.G," She said, "It's going to be tones of fun, so whenever you're done with whatever you're doing, meet me upstairs to help get ready. We need snacks, dinner ideas, games and crafts…" She laughed, "This is going to be the easiest money that we've ever made!"

**Sorry that the first part is so short! I was planning on having this be the first chapter but decided that it would add more to the story to have it as a Prologue, giving you a little explanation of what's going on. I'll be sure to update as soon as I can!**


	2. Empty Cupboards

"Grayson, get the door!" Bab's yelled. Her arms full of a screaming baby Damien. "I have some things to finish up!"

Dick trotted past her, although he still wasn't too thrilled of the thought of watching a bunch of little kids. "I still can't believe I let you talk me into this…" He mumbled, unlocking the front door of the mansion and opening it. A little girl flew past him, practically knocking him on his butt.

"Are you going to be good, Steph?" The mother asked, kneeling down to the little girls' height.

Steph nodded happily, walking up to Bab's and standing on her tip toes, trying to get a look at the baby. Damien pouted, spitting his pacifier at her. In what hardly qualified at an instant, the piggy tailed bundle was on the floor in tears, yelling something about Damien, a wooden spoon, and after the big kids went to bed. It was probably best to keep her away from the baby at night…

The two teens barely had time to get the blonde under control when another women came to the door, followed by two little boys; practically throwing them at the two babysitters.

"Hey, Bab's!" Dick yelled across the kitchen, "Do they… I don't know… come with instructions or something?"

"Yeah," She yelled back sarcastically. "Extra batteries and a DVD tutorial too. Isn't there any canned food in this house?"

"What do you mean?"

"If you're asking in regards to my first response, I was being sarcastic. Children do not come with instruction manuals."

"I mean, what do you mean there's no food?"

Barbra put little Damien in a high chair, opening a few of the cabinets. "There's no canned food," She said. "I mean… I can cook a little bit, but we don't really have time to make these kids a whole turkey…"

"Make up the baby formula or something."

Bab's glared, "Better yet, how about you run to the store and buy food…"

"Why can't you?"

"Fine," She shrugged, "Then you can change Damien's diaper, he smells."

Dick rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically.

"Fine…" He groaned, "Just try and have the kids settled by the time I get back." As he turned to open the front door, he felt a small hand grab a hold of his own. He looked down to discover it was connected to jet-black haired toddler grinning at him from ear to ear.

"I wants to go too!" He yelled.

"You mean that you _want to,_ Tim." Barbra corrected, smiling and giving Dick a small wink. He froze slightly, not looking too pleased with the situation that he was falling into.

"I wanna go too!" Steph cried, running up to the boys and grabbing Tim's hand. "Pwetty pwease?" She pouted, a chubby pink lower lip looking up at Dick. "I'll be good."

The expression that he gave to Barbra read something along the lines of _Help!_

"You can handle bringing two toddlers to the supermarket," She said. "Right?"

Another sigh crossed his lips, "I guess…" He groaned.

"I swear, you pout more than the kids…"

"What do you plan on doing when we're gone?" Dick asked, "You have the baby and the quiet one, which hardly qualifies as a fair share in the job."

Damien tugged at Barbra's sleeve from in his high chair.

"Down!" He yelled. She untied his bib, taking the half-finished bottle of formula and putting it in the refrigerator before taking Damien out of the high chair and setting him on the kitchen floor. He picked up the pacifier that he had spit at Steph minutes before, putting it back in his mouth.

"Taking care of a baby isn't as easy as it looks, Grayson… Besides, it's not like I'm asking for much. All I need you to do is run to the store and buy food."

"With two kids. And what about money? We got cut off."

"Use the emergency credit card. Bruce won't mind. It is sort of an emergency."

Dick rolled his eyes, picking Tim and Steph up under his armpits, their bodies squirming uncomfortably beneath him.

"I wanna ride in the cart seat!" Steph yelled, wiggling out of Dick's arm and taking hold of his hand as Tim struggled to free himself.

"No!" He yelled, "I wanna ride in the cart seat!"

"I called it first, so I get it!"

Dick sighed, wondering if he and Bab's sounded like this when they were young.

"Then I wanna ride in the car cart!" Tim yelled, referring to the grocery cart with the pint-sized plastic car in the front.

"The car is build for two kids…" Dick groaned, "You can both ride in that…"

"I wanna ride in it myself!" Tim wined, finally breaking from Dick's grip; he dropped to the floor cross-legged, crossing his arms to his chest and pouting.

"Tim…" Dick sighed, pulling him back up by the wrist. "This behavior needs to stop right now. You're a big boy and your acting like a little baby."

"I'm not a baby." Tim mumbled. Dick dragged him across the sidewalk by the arm. "You're hurting me!"

"Tough luck…"

"I'm telling my mommy!"

"If I'm hurting you, then maybe you could consider standing up…"

Tim grunted, pulling himself onto his feet and pouting as he walked beside Dick and Steph. His little hand wrapped around his finger. Dick let out a small smirk; they were actually sort of cute when they were acting normal…

**I'm considering adding more little ones… So if you have anyone who you'd really like me to put in the story, then tell me in a review. Once again: I don't know for sure if I'll be adding anymore. **


End file.
